Better Parents Better Kids Monthly Newsletter Issue #11

Welcome to our August 2009 Better Parents, Better Kids Newsletter Issue!

This month we will be continuing with Part 3 of Tanis's and Tina's Aggressive Behavior Series.

In Part 1 of our Aggressive Behavior Series, Tina had asked a series of questions relating to her Nicco's aggressive behavior and how she should approach the situation with her son.

To review Tina's questions visit our June 2009 issue @ http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/index.php/newsletters/143-june-2009-newsletter.html

We (Tanis and I) decided to split our answers for Tina into a 4 part series, and in our June 2009 issue we discussed how her son may have been using Control Dramas to get his way and to get his needs met.

For our July Newsletter we discussed Part 2 Shadowsides.

Now for Part 3 let's discuss how issues around Nicco not understanding Cause and Effect? that may have an effect on what is going on between Tina and Nicco.

Part 3 - Cause and Effect

Hi Tina,

You will have to teach your son about cause and effect ? there is always an effect to all decisions and actions we take big or small.

So you can say something like the following to your son ? although we unconditionally love you and will always unconditionally love you ? when you act in destructive ways or are angry all time other people are not going to want be around you and will start to move away from you.

It is o.k. to express your anger but do not direct it at people - we will help you to learn ways on how to tell us what you want in a way that we will understand you and help you to find ways to let out your anger without breaking things or scaring people.

At his age ask him - What you do want? - Then just instruct him to either show, say (Show me what you want) tell or explain (tell him to say I want ____) or express through expressing how he feels (How do you feel? I feel ____)

Then when he gets older you can teach him our basic Communication and Conflict Resolution Techniques. (These Communication and Conflict Resolutions Techniques are available in our Better Parents, Better Kids Parenting Program E-book @ http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/info

Healthy ways to release anger and aggression include going for a walk or a run, getting him a punching bag, have a pillow fight even let him slam doors as long as you explain that he can slam doors at home not a school or in his future place of employment.

If you (the reader) have any questions about our suggestions about Cause and Effect you can reach us @ This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

In Part 4 of our Aggressive Series, we will be discussing Rules and How Rules Are O.k. since in past Newsletters and Articles we talked about the importance of allowing your child to be an authentic expression of themselves -so Tina was wanting to know what type of Rules are good to set for her children especially for Nicco.

What's On Joey's Mind?

If you have a question for Joey, you can email us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Ask Tanis

Hi, it's Melody once more...

If you have any parenting questions for our "Ask Tanis" Column, feel free to contact Tanis at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it '; document.write( '' ); document.write( addy_text6120 ); document.write( '<\/a>' ); //--> This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Don't Forget to Visit the Forum!

Don't forget to check-out our Better Parents Better Kids Parenting Forum @ http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/forum

Until Next Time,

Melody Chase
Better Parents Better Kids Team
Website: http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com
Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
Twitter: @BPBKParenting