Welcome to our July 2009 Better Parents, Better Kids Newsletter Issue.

This month we will be continuing with Part 2 of Tanis' and Tina's "Aggressive Behavior" Series.

Aggressive Behavior Series: Part 2 - Shadowsides

In Part 1 of our Aggressive Behavior Series, Tina had asked a series of questions relating to her Nicco's aggressive behavior and how she should approach the situation with her son.

We (Tanis and I) decided to split our answers for Tina into a 4 part series, and in our June 2009 issue we discussed how her son may have been using "Control Dramas" to get his way and to get his needs met.

To review Tina's questions and to see our answer for Part 1 on Control Dramas, visit our June 2009 issue @ http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/index.php/newsletters/143-june-2009-newsletter.html

Now for Part 2 let's discuss how something that we call "Shadowsides" may have an effect on what is going on between Tina and her son Nicco.

Hi Tina,

You may have heard about Shadowsides from either Carl Jung or Debbie Ford, for the purposes of our definition and how we define a Shadowside in our books and programs is that a Shadowside is a concept that says that we as humans (just as everything in the universe) is made up of energy and that there are all aspects and energies of people within ourselves.

We have the potential to be like every other person and to show all sides of what it means as a human being including all energies and aspects that we may think of as good, bad or even unimaginable.

So there are sides or energy aspects of ourselves that are either not dominant or are repressed and/or there are aspects about ourselves that we think that we cannot love for many different reasons that we call the Shadowside.

It is called the Shadowside because it is our hidden side and also because people are often repressing or denying an aspect of themselves that they see in others. The term Shadowside may also be used because it appears to be dark or negative to them.

We often will draw in people, places and things into our lives through our subconscious mind so we can become aware, understand, accept, appreciate and even forgive the Shadowside aspect of ourselves.

There may also be aspects of ourselves that we need to draw out, balance or compliment - in doing so we return to remembering our wholeness.

For more information about Shadowsides, we recommend Debbie Ford's "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams." as well as Debbie Ford's website at www.debbieford.com

We also discuss Shadowsides and have Shadowside exercises in our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program (http://www.counsellorinabox.com ), our Love By Design Book (http://www.lovebydesignbook.com) and our Better Parents Better Kids Parenting Program. (http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/info )

For you Tina, in regards to you and your son Nicco, you may have Shadowside issues that Nicco is expressing or presenting to you in regards to the following areas:

1) Being Destructive ? throwing, punching and breaking things
2) Being "bad" ? whatever bad means to you
3) That it is o.k. to have what you want in the way you want it when you want it
4) Being unappreciative, being self-righteous and demanding - spoiled
5) Not following rules

If you have trouble with loving, accepting or appreciating any of the energies listed above you may have Shadowsides in these areas and you will need to use the 7 Ascension Attitudes of Love so you can accept that you have all of these energy potentials within yourself and that your son may have these energies within him as well.

So you have to:

1) Understand - these energies
2) Accept - these energies
3) Allow ? these energies
4) Forgive - these energies
5) Appreciate - these energies
6) Have Gratitude - with these energies
7) Love ? these energies

If you or any of our readers have any questions about Shadowsides, please feel free to contact us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

In Part 3 of our Aggressive Series, we will be discussing issues regarding Nicco and explaining about "Cause and Effect"

What's On Joey's Mind?

If you have a question for Joey, you can email us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Ask Tanis

Hi, it's Melody once more...

If you have any parenting questions for our "Ask Tanis" Column, feel free to contact Tanis at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Don't Forget to Visit the Forum!

Don't forget to check-out our Better Parents Better Kids Parenting Forum @ http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/forum

Until Next Time,

Melody Chase
Better Parents Better Kids Team
Website: http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com
Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it