Better Parents, Better Kids Weekly Newsletter Issue #6

Note From Tanis Nicole Wright

Welcome to your Better Parents, Better Kids Newsletter Issue #6!!!

I'm Tanis Nicole Wright, Director/Head Coach of the Better Parents, Better Kids Parenting Program (http://www.betterparentbetterkids.com ) and co-writer of our Parenting E-book Better Parents, Better Kids (http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/info

Today we will be continuing with Part Six of our "10 Instant Ways To Become a Better Parent" series. Today's topic is about helping your child understand that others are different.

10 Instant Ways To Become a Better Parent - Part Six

Help Your Child Understand That Others Are Different: Just as it is important for you to understand that your children are unique and different from anyone else with their own needs, wants and requirements, it is also important to help your children to understand that others are different too. It helps to prevent a life of them judging or trying to force others to be like themselves.

Teaching your children that others are different also helps them to learn about how to give others what they want in the way they want it, since any relationship whether that is with your family, your job or your relationship is all about being a mutual fulfillment of needs.

If we don't understand that others are different, we will never be able to succeed in having a successful relationship.

Assignment

I (Tanis) after being trained in the Better Parents, Better Kids Program, was eager to pass on what I had learned to my children. One of the important things that I wanted to teach my children is that people are different.

I had the opportunity to do so a few months later when I witnessed a situation with my youngest son Cameron (who was four at the time) at Cameron's preschool.

My son is your typical boy's boy, he likes to play rough. His favorite things include running, jumping, chasing, playing smash up trucks, pretty much anything that involves physical activity and roughhousing.

He is usually in with the group of kids that are into the same things as him. There was one day in particular though that he wanted to play with a little boy that was a little quieter, laid back and not really into the rough play. Within a few minutes the boy walked away and didn't want to play anymore.

That's when I realized now would be a good time to explain to my son that everyone has different personalities, different ways of communicating and different likes and dislikes.

I explained that everyone likes different things, that it was okay and that's what makes us all unique and special. Cameron was quite surprised that not everyone liked playing cars, but seemed to understand what I was saying, especially when I backed it up with some examples of things that he didn't really care for.

Explaining to my four year old that everyone was different, had different personalities and different likes and dislikes was very empowering.

Instead of feeling rejected when someone says no to his request to play he knows now that maybe they just don't like playing that particular thing.

So now he has choices. He can either find someone else to play a game that he wants or he can ask the initial child what they like to play and decide on a game that they both like.

I know he understands the concept I am trying to teach him because I hear him asking other kids as well as his brother "do you like this too"? or "what games do you like"? so he is putting it into practice.

Obviously depending on the child's age you have to explain things in a way that are age appropriate. Even small children can pick up quite easily on things if they are explained properly.

This new information that my son now has is helping him now, but I believe it will also help him in the future. You see, if he gets a clear understanding of all the differences that people can have, accepts it and starts honoring other's differences now he won't have to learn this when he is older, or worse not learn it and struggle through relationships.

If you think about it most adults don't even have this knowledge that is why so many relationships break down and end up in divorce or the couple stays together and keeps trying to change one another, trying to bang a square peg into a round hole, or trying to turn a cat into a dog as some would say.

I spent a lot of time trying to "change" my son and his behavior. It was a struggle and neither him nor I were better for it or happier.

It was not until I learned about the personalities, communication modes, and to love and honor thy differences that I was able to accept and allow my son to be as he was and support, and love him just as he was.

Once I started accepting my son as he was and letting him know that I was on his side I noticed a fairly quick improvement in our relationship and in his behavior.

My point is that had I known about all the personalities, communication modes and to love and honor thy differences I would have had a lot less struggle in my life so by teaching these concepts to kids we are preventing struggle for them.

So your assignment is to explain to your children about differences and that everyone is unique, and that it is perfectly okay to be yourself and for others to be themselves as well.

One Last Note From Tanis

Do you have a parenting question that you would like answered?

Send in your parenting questions to "Ask Tanis" at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

and I will be happy to answer your questions as part of our "Ask Tanis" Q & A section here in our Newsletter.

Best Wishes To You and Your Family,

Tanis Nicole Wright

Director/Head Coach

The Better Parents, Better Kids Program

http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com

Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

(204) 475-0323