Note From Tanis Nicole Wright

Welcome to Your Better Parents, Better Kids Newsletter Issue #4!!!

I'm Tanis Nicole Wright, Director/Head Coach of the Better Parents, Better Kids Parenting Program (http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com ) and co-writer of our Parenting E-book Better Parents, Better Kid (http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/info )

Today we will be continuing with Part Four of our "10 Instant Ways To Become a Better Parent" series. Today's topic is about Being Open to Allowing Your Child To Express Their Feelings and Emotions.

10 Instant Ways To Become A Better Parent - Part Four

Be Open to Allowing Your Child To Express His or Her Feelings and Emotions: Many children grow up in households where feelings and emotions are not approved of, or are invalidated.

The way how some children react is to either have emotional outbursts from holding their emotions in or they learn how to shutdown or repress their emotions, which result in them becoming emotionally shutdown.

In either case, their behaviors are not desirable for the family or for the future relationships that they will be involved with.

So if empathy doesn't come naturally to you, learn how to empathize so your children feel like it is alright to express their feelings and emotions or at the very least make a decision not to be reactive or in judgment if your children do express themselves emotionally.

Assignment

Your assignment is to learn and try out the following simple and easy Empathy Technique with your child.

The first 2 steps are from the book "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality" by J. Kreisman, M.D. and Hal Straus, (Published Avon Books, Feb 01, 1991).

Say the following:

1) I am very concerned about your feelings.

2) It must be horrible (or whatever description fits the situation) that you feel ... or that ... happened to you or I understand how you feel.

3) How can I support you or how can I help you to feel better?

This way your child knows that you are concerned and that you have acknowledged how your child feels. You also put the solution to how he/she

can feel better in his/her hands so it increases the chances of resolving what he/she needs.

One Last Note From Tanis

Do you have a parenting question that you would like answered?

Send in your parenting questions to "Ask Tanis" at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

and I will be happy to answer your questions as part of our "Ask Tanis" Q & A section here in our Newsletter.

Best Wishes To You and Your Family

Tanis Nicole Wright

Director/Head Coach

The Better Parents, Better Kids Program

Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/

(204) 475-0323