Better Parents, Better Kids Monthly Newsletter Issue #4

Happy New Year!

Hi it’s Melody Chase.

Tanis and Joey have limited computer access this month as their house renovations continue but we have some questions lined up for Joey in his “What’s on Joey’s Mind Column” and Tanis called us on Joey’s behalf with his answers, so check out his column to follow after our Lesson #3 on “Values” as part of our 7 part “Understanding Your Child’s Differences” Series.

Lesson #3 Values

Welcome to Lesson #3 of our 7 Part Series on “Understanding Your Child's Differences.”

The following may sound familiar for some readers, it is an excerpt by Tanis from our Weekly Newsletter describing Values and how it ties into Understanding Your Child’s Differences:

Tanis says:

Everyone is unique, with their own unique personalities, bodies and purpose in life.

Your children are unique individuals as well with their own unique needs, wants and requirements.

As a parent, if you understand this, you can be more open to finding out what is best for your children based on what is best for them, versus what you think is best for them because that is what you would want or what other people think your children would want.

In our Better Parents, Better Kids Program E-book, (http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/info ) the majority of the book focuses on discovering how your children are unique.

Let's examine one of those areas that you can find out about your children known as Values.

Values can be described as something that is important to you. It is something that you are willing to focus on, and put attention and time into in order to maintain.

Every individual has their own individual values. Some values are more important than others, and when people's top values are satisfied, they experience a sense of satisfaction and well-being. So people (whether they are conscious of it or not) will focus on achieving and maintaining their values.

Often people are not aware that other people have different values then their own and they think that the other person is just intentionally trying to be difficult with them.

The result then is that the person who isn't aware that the other person has different values will often try to force the other person to go along with their values.

This also happens between parents and children. Even if parents were aware that different people have different values, they wouldn't believe that their children would have any values at all let alone values that are different then their own because their children are children, and even if their children had values they really wouldn't know what they would really want, once again because they are children.

Much to most people's surprise, most children, even at a very early age know what they want, including their values. The ones who don't have usually forgot or have self doubt because they have already been influenced by their parents and society.

I (Tanis) asked my son Joey (who was seven at the time), if he had the freedom to do whatever he wanted, would he know what he would want to do with his life? His answer was, "Well of course I know what I would want to do," and he then went into specific detail about his values and vision for his life.

To find out your child/children's top values are ask them the following questions:

1. Ask what is important to them.

2. Ask what they would like to do in the present.

3. Ask what they would like to do in the future.

4. If they don't know say "That's ok, when the time is right you will know." I.e. Instead of giving suggestions or forcing them to come up with things.

Since Values and Visions are closely linked we will go into more detail about the questions listed above when we talk about “Vision” in our next newsletter.

If you have any questions about Values and/or how to test for your Children’s Values you can email us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or for more detailed information about Values and Values Testing check-out our Better Parents, Better Kids Parenting Home Study Program at http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/info

What’s On Joey’s Mind?

It’s Melody again.

Tanis, Cameron and Joey are still going back and forth between Cameron’s and Joey’s Grandparents as their house is on renovations, I thought I’d take a chance and see if Joey had a chance if he could answer a few questions for us.

The reason why I would like to ask Joey these questions is that over the last couple of Newsletters we have been focusing on asking Parents about what they appreciated and what they felt like they were missing as they were growing up, so I thought I would ask what growing up for Joey has been like so far and whether the Better Parents, Better Kids System has made a difference in his life.

Tanis was able to receive my questions and she called us with Joey’s answers, so the following are both our questions and Joey’s answers as explained by Tanis:

1) What does Joey like best about having Tanis as a Mom? Joey’s answer is that what he likes best is that Tanis understands who he is and allows him to have his freedom.

2) What does Joey like best about being raised in the Better Parents, Better Kids System? Joey said as translated by Tanis that under the Better Parents, Better Kids System, he loves the benefit of being free and being allowed the freedom to choose in two ways 1) The freedom of making choices for himself 2) Creating his personal environment that authentically represents who he is.

Ask Tanis

Tanis and her home will be back to normal by our next issue, so we still encourage you to send in your parenting questions to our “Ask Tanis” Column at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and she will get back to you for next month’s issue.

In the meantime, if you would like to read a parenting article that really captures what we believe parenting is all about, check out the following Helium article by B. Stone called “Being A Happy Parent As Part Of Good Parenting” at http://www.helium.com/items/1258029-parenting-tips

We do not know the writer and I do not know if she is aware of us or not, but as a Helium Article Writer myself I stumbled across her article and was so inspired I just had to share and recommend the article to all of you!

Don’t Forget to Visit the Forum!

Don’t forget to check-out our Better Parents Better Kids Parenting Forum at http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/forum/

We need YOU to get the Forum Rolling!

As well, as a reminder - don’t forget to check back for Lesson #4 of our “Understanding Your Child’s Differences” Series on “Visions”

Until Next Time,

Melody Chase

Better Parents Better Kids Team

Website: http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com

Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

(204) 475-0323