Hi it’s Melody Chase.

For our Newsletter Issue #2 I will be going over Lesson #1 on Personality Styles as part of our 7 part “Understanding Your Child’s Differences” Series.

As well both Tanis and her son Joey (with his 1^st “What’s On Joey’s Mind” Column) have some important topics to discuss with you.

We have a lot to cover so let’s get right down to it.

Lesson #1 Personality Types

Welcome to Lesson #1 of our 7 Part Series on “Understanding Your Child's Differences.”

For Lesson #1 let's discuss Personality Types or Modes.

At our Centre we have been using Personality Types to assist couples in understanding their partner's uniqueness and needs. Without a doubt it is one of the most important and successful ways to assist people in not only helping them in giving their partner what their partner wants in the way their partner wants it (after-all since all relationships are a mutual fulfillment of needs) but assisting in understanding, allowing and unconditionally loving their partner for who they are.

The same positive outcome is possible when you can both recognize and understand your child's personality or personality combinations as well.

There are four main types of personalities and people can be just one personality type or a blend of up to all four.

I am going to review the four main personality types including what each personality type’s basic personality needs, values and dislikes are.

I will also be giving some general ways on how you can recognize what your child's personality is and if you recognize more than one personality type in your child then the needs, values and dislikes of those types are true as well.

So for each personality, I will have a brief definition followed by how to determine what your child’s personality is by observation of your child’s behaviors and by verbal feedback.

Driver Children: Driver children are driven, they are into goals and achieving tasks. Their main focus is getting from point A to point B without being interrupted. They like to be the leader versus a team-member or a follower. They are task-centred versus people-centred which means they will pick tasks over socializing with people or other children. Their main values are being in control, achieving tasks and getting from point A to point B. They dislike being controlled and “being taken” or being taken advantage of and do not like a lot of detail.

To find out if any of your children have Driver personalities you will be able to observe that they will prefer to do tasks or play by themselves. If they are with other children, they will be in charge of the gang and if they are not in charge they may not get along with the other children as well. Driver Children like to get to the point and do things without much planning - they just dive into things and will often get irritable if there are too many steps or if they are blocked from what they want to do. They are also very protective of their own belongings and space.

If they were asked if they had a choice between being in charge, having fun, getting along with others or being right, their 1^st choice would be to be in charge.

Expressive Children: Expressive children love being the centre of attention and wear their hearts on their sleeve. There are a dominant personality likes Drivers, so they would like to be in charge but they do not like having a lot of responsibility and are not into details. They are people-centred which means that they would choose to socialize with other children and adults over tasks - in fact they do not like to be alone and will seek out people to be with. Their main values are freedom, fun and to be loved for whom they are. They dislike looking bad, being criticized or having their freedom taken away.

To find out if any of your children have Expressive personalities, they will often be the centre of attention and will always be found playing and being around other children and people. They are not as comfortable being left alone and will seek out anyone to keep them company. They are lots of fun and charming and full of life. They like to take the lead, but most important to them is that they have freedom to do what they like and will get really upset if they can’t do what they would like to do.

If asked if they had a choice between being in charge, having fun, getting along with others or being right, their first choice would be having fun.

Amiable Children: Amiable children love being the cog in the wheel and being a team-player. They are a passive personality compared to Drivers and Expressives. Amiables love routine and harmony such as everyone getting along. They are people-centred so they will pick socializing with others over tasks, although they don’t mind being by themselves unlike people-centred Expressives. Their main values are harmony, routine and teamwork. They dislike conflict, sudden changes or changes of schedule and would prefer to be a team-member versus a leader or having the responsibility of leadership.

To find out if any of your children are Amiable you will observe that they will often blend in with children and although they are comfortable being by themselves, they also love being around people. They get along with just about anyone and are usually easy-going, quiet, happy and content. They may get upset by conflict or if people are arguing or if there is a lot of change going on in their life. They like to seek out and enjoy daily routines around the house.

If asked if they had a choice between being in charge, having fun, getting along with others or being right, their first choice would be to get along with others.

Analytical Children: Analytical children are logical and love order and procedures. They are a passive personality but are a little more dominant than Amiables especially if they need to prove that they are right about something. They have strong rules that they believe others should follow and are all-or- nothing, black and white thinkers. They are task-centred and prefer to work alone or independently although they are more social than Drivers. Their main values are being right, logic and having step-by-step procedures. They dislike illogical people, people who do not align with their rules and they dislike being forced to go by other people’s systems i.e. being forced to rush or skip steps.

To observe whether any of your children are Analytical, you will observe how they really enjoy spending time by themselves and prefer to do tasks or play by themselves. They do get along with other children, but will argue or want to prove that they are right or that people need to do things their right way. For example if they are playing a game with other children, they will insist that everyone has to play not just by the rules - but the correct rules and they are not into creatively changing rules. They also like routine and doing routines in the correct order. They are most likely to get upset if they or others are not doing things right or in the right order.

If asked if they had a choice between being in charge, having fun, getting along or being right, they will say being right.

If you have any questions about personality types or combinations of types you can email us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or for more detailed information about personalities and personality tests check out our Better Parents, Better Kids Parenting Home Study Program at www.betterparentsbetterkids.com

In our December Issue, we will be continuing with our series where we will be discussing Communication Modes including what they are and how to find out what your child’s Communication Modes are – the keys to better understanding, communication and even learning all lies within understanding both yours and your child’s communication modes - so don’t miss our next issue!

Ask Tanis

Hi this is Tanis.

Normally, I would be answering your questions, but I felt like doing something a little different and ask you a few questions instead.

I would like to ask you and fellow parents/readers out there:

1) What do you feel you were missing from your childhood (for example, missing love and unconditional acceptance etc) and how do you feel that this has effected you now as an adult and as a parent?

2) What things (emotionally, physically etc) did you get as a child that you feel kids should not do without?

The reason why I ask these questions is that the theme for our first ‘What’s On Joey’s Mind?” Column that is coming up next is in regards to the question “What do you think all adults should know about kids?” from a kid’s perspective.

I like the idea of asking kids what they need or want of course but I find they are letting us know what they need right now and are often not thinking about the long run or the effects of not getting what they want.

That's why I feel that asking you, the adults these questions above that we may get more widespread answers since being an adult now you can look back and see what has worked and what hasn’t worked for you as you were growing up.

So if you like you can send in your answers to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and I will post them in our upcoming newsletters under our “Ask Tanis” Column so we can see what other parents have to say and so we can all share our own experiences.

Of course if you have any parenting questions for our “Ask Tanis” Column, feel free to contact me too at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

What’s On Joey’s Mind?

Hi, this is Tanis again.

Welcome to the First Entry of our “What’s On Joey’s Mind?” Column.

Joey is my oldest son, who at the time of this Newsletter is 10 years old and is attending elementary school with his younger brother Cameron.

Joey has a naturally curious mind and is very interested in understanding people and the world around him. He is a deeper thinker and would love the share with the world his insights especially about being a kid as well as being a son of parents who use our Better Parents, Better Kids System.

So he is very enthusiastic about his new “What’s On Joey’s Mind?” Column.

For today’s column he has asked me to narrate since I have a story to share on his behalf.

First things first, Melody had asked Joey the following question:

What Do You Think All Adults Should Know About Kids?

Joey’s answers were the following:

1. Adults should give kids lots of freedom (you can see one important value for him!) lol

2. Adults should listen to kids more and let them make their own decisions.

He has an example for this one.

He and I were out shopping one day and he wanted a sweater, it was a really nice one and looked good, but I said no because I didn't think he really needed it.

Anyway, once he gave me all of his reasons and I changed my mind and bought it for him I then began to realize that there was no real reason for me to say no.

He knew it was highest and best for him and I know that now because he has taken care of it, worn it and used it for all of the things he said he would.

Who am I to tell him which sweater to buy? Especially when he is so clear himself on what he needs are.

Joey has a lot more on his mind - so check back with us in our next Monthly Newsletter Issue!

Warm Wishes,

Tanis and Joey

Don’t Forget to Visit the Forum!

It’s Melody.

A few last things to mention…

First - don’t forget to check-out our Better Parents Better Kids Parenting Forum at http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/forum/

We need YOU to get the Forum Rolling!

As well, as a reminder - don’t forget to check back for Lesson #2 of our “Understanding Your Child’s Differences” Series on Communication Modes and to find out “What’s On Joey’s Mind?”

Until Next Time,

Melody Chase

Better Parents Better Kids Program

Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Website: www.betterparentsbetterkids.com

(204) 475-0323