Better Parents Better Kids Monthly Newsletter Issue #1

Welcome to our first issue of our New Monthly Better Parents, Better Kids Newsletter.

I am Melody Chase. I am a Writer and Counsellor at the Centre For Life Management/LMC Relationship Centre and co-author of our Better Parents, Better Kids Parenting Home Study Program E-Book.

I also write articles for the Better Parents, Better Kids Program that you will find on our Better Parents, Better Kids Website (www.betterparentsbetterkids.com ) as well is in many E-zines across the internet.

I will be your Hostess for our Monthly Better Parents, Better Kids Monthly Newsletter.

A Little History…

The Better Parents, Better Kids Parenting Program was created by Dr. Robby (Director of the Centre for Life Management/ LMC Relationship Centre) over 15 years ago.

About 4-5 years ago, he had client come in for both relationship counselling and parenting counselling by the name of Tanis Nicole Wright.

Tanis was on the verge of a physical breakdown due to relationship issues that she was having with her husband and because both her young sons were having behavior problems and were constantly fighting all the time.

Dr. Robby put Tanis through the Better Parents Better Kids Program and Tanis’s life and family turned around so well she decided to train to become a relationship counsellor as well as train as a Better Parents, Better Kids Counsellor and Coach.

Today, Tanis is the Director of the Better Parents, Better Kids Program and she as well as her family are healthy and happy.

Tanis and I wrote the Better Parents, Better Kids Parenting Home Study Program E-book together and decided to create the Better Parents, Better Kids Website (www.betterparentsbetterkids.com) to provide more information about our E-book and our Program.

Most recently, we took the advice of our new Publisher and Web Administrator Marshall to include several forums on our Better Parents, Better Kids Website so we can be a supportive interactive community of Parents helping Parents.

Tanis will be answering yours and fellow readers’ parenting questions in her “Ask Tanis” Q & A Column in our upcoming Monthly Newsletters and we may hear from her from time to time on a variety of topics.

I will be writing articles for the Newsletters - many inspired by real life stories from talking to Tanis as she lives her life as a Better Parents, Better Kids Mom.

We will also be hearing a lot about her children Joey and Cameron including Joey having his own column called “What’s on Joey’s Mind?” so be sure to check in with us.

Last but not least - from time to time we will also be hearing from another one of our Better Parents, Better Kids Coaches and Relationship Counsellors by the name of Leslie. Leslie is a mother of four children, two of which are special needs children.

Leslie’s story is the case study that is featured in our Better Parents, Better Kids Parenting Home Study Program E-book and like Tanis - Leslie came to us for parenting advice.

Leslie’s life and family changed around so profoundly she decided to become a Parenting Counsellor and Coach to be able to help other parents out there too.

Understanding Differences – Introduction

What makes the Better Parents, Better Kids Program so different is that it focuses on two main principles:

1) That your children’s greatest and most influential role model in their life is you –their parent. So if we bring out the best in you as a parent, then you in turn can bring the best out in your children.

2) Our other principle is that we are all unique, including our children, so we need to teach our children about following what is highest and best for them as well as we, as parents need to understand and support their uniqueness.

Near the end of the school year, Tanis was having some trouble with her younger son Cameron in regards to his elementary school.

Cameron has a Driver Personality which means he is a natural leader, likes to be in control, is tasked centred and is focused on getting from Point A to Point B without being interrupted.

Basically Cameron doesn’t like to be part of the team – but would rather be in charge of the team and being a dominant personality likes to do what he wants to do in the way that he wants to do it. (See our article on Understanding Differences in our upcoming Newsletters for more information on Personality Styles)

Near the end of last year’s school year, Cameron began to show some behavioral issues. He used to have behavioral issues which were one of the reasons why Tanis took the Better Parents, Better Kids Program in the first place - but now some issues were beginning to resurface.

According to his teacher, Cameron had begun playing mind-games with her such as pretending that he can’t read, when he can read perfectly fine at home or going out for recess before it’s time to go out for recess and saying that the teacher said it was time when she didn’t say such a thing.

Tanis talked with Dr. Robby because they had dealt with a client whose son didn’t like school and had a similar personality as Cameron.

Dr. Robby had explained to the client’s son that in Canada there are rules about school and the more the son cooperated the quicker he can graduate and be free and the more opportunities and options of freedom there would be the more he went along with the system. I.e. good grades, good attendance, not getting expelled or getting a criminal record etc.

Tanis took Dr. Robby’s advice and had a talk with Cameron.

Tanis explains the following about hers and Cameron’s conversation that they had just before summer break “I talked to Cameron and explained that he was only hurting his chances of getting and having what he wants.”

“He is very smart so he completely understood and his attitude changed completely. It was so drastic and fast in fact that the teacher couldn't believe it!”

“He still doesn't like school much but he is realizing that he can create ways or systems to make it more tolerable and make decisions geared toward gaining freedom instead of loosing it.”

“He had a good last month of school and really enjoyed his summer freedom!”

“He spent most of his time at the cabin with his grandma and grandpa doing what he loves including playing outside, swimming, bike riding, whatever he felt like with no real schedule or agenda except his own.”

“His behavior is not at all a problem anymore. In fact people have been commenting on what a happy content little guy he is.”

“I realized that I needed to listen to him more and reassure him that it's okay that school is not his favorite thing so he doesn't feel like an outcast or like something is wrong with him.”

“And most importantly to help him realize his natural talents and how to nurture them.”

Now as Cameron is into his new school year, he is still having some trouble with having to go along with the schools rules. He knows what he would like to do with his life - which is work along side his Dad who owns an Electrician company and Cameron doesn’t find it fair that no one allows him to do what he would like to do.

Tanis had a second conversation with Dr. Robby, who told her to tell Cameron that Dr. Robby, although he enjoys learning and school itself - had no use for the rules and the school system when he was growing up so Cameron wasn’t alone.

Cameron felt much better after hearing that and even Cameron’s teacher explained that her husband was like Cameron too and just wanted to go into a Trade School instead when her husband was a kid and this gave Cameron some fuel to stick things out.

Joey, Cameron’s older brother, who is now 10, explained to his Mom (Tanis) how kids may feel bad or like an outcast if they follow their authenticity! He says he likes to be authentic because it feels right, but at school he is not as openly authentic as he is at home.

Joey has a personality style combination known as Amiable and Expressive so he likes people and wants to fit in and get along so he is willing to bend a little but not to the point of being uncomfortable.

Now Cameron on the other hand is very authentic. He doesn't care if he gets along and is not so willing to bend because he really doesn't care as much what people think.

As Tanis explains “Cameron wants to do what he wants when he wants so he doesn't fit in with the school system as well.”

“Unfortunately teachers are not aware of the different personalities or if they are they don't have the time to work with them all accordingly so even though Cameron CAN do all the work he is given the teacher thinks he either can't focus or can't do the work.”

“Instead of being supported in his natural authentic state and learning in a way that works for him he is labeled as ‘unable to focus on the task at hand’ or ‘unable to do the work given’ and so on.”

“So as a parent, I (Tanis) feel it is my job to make sure he understands the different personalities, communication modes, temperaments and authenticities so he doesn't feel like there is something wrong with him just because he is not like some of the other students.”

“I know he is more intelligent than some of the kids that are labeled as good students or smart, and I tell him that and encourage him to explore, discover and learn in his own individual way.”

So Tanis’s, Joey’s and Cameron’s comments leads to the topic of what is going to be a 7 Part Series for our Monthly Newsletter about the importance of both parents and children understanding about differences and how everyone is unique - so parents can support their children’s authentic uniqueness and so that children don’t feel so alone.

This way children will not feel like there something wrong with them and through the importance of their parents supporting them in their uniqueness – children will have the confidence to follow their authenticity forever and not give into the “norm” in order to feel accepted and connected to others or on the opposite end of the spectrum to prevent children from feeling and becoming totally isolated from society.

So the areas of difference and uniqueness that will I will be covering over the next several Newsletters will be as follows:

1) Personality Styles

2) Communication Modes

3) Values

4) Visions

5) Bodytypes

6) Workstyles

7) Metaprograms

I will also give suggestions on how to find out what are your children’s personality styles, communications modes etc - so check back with us monthly.

Ask Tanis

Do you have a parenting question that you would like answered?

Send in your parenting questions to "Ask Tanis" at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and she will be happy to answer your questions as part of our "Ask Tanis" Q & A section here in our Newsletter.

What’s On Joey’s Mind?

As Tanis explains, her son Joey’s mind is full of things to talk about from a kid’s point of view when it comes to parenting … so check-back with us in upcoming newsletters.

Don’t Forget to Visit the Forum!

Check-out our Better Parents Better Kids Parenting Forum at http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/forum/

We need YOU to get the Forum Rolling!

Until Next Time,

Melody Chase

Better Parents Better Kids Program

Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Website: www.betterparentsbetterkids.com

(204) 475-0323