Better Parents, Better Kids Monthly Newsletter Issue #3

Seasons Greetings!

It’s Melody Chase here!

Tanis and Joey are busy this month with the Holiday Season and with a major house renovation going on so they are going back and forth between home and Joey’s and Cameron’s Grandparents. (Renovations in December – Brrr!) So Joey doesn’t have a post for the Newsletter this month, but Tanis and Joey will be back in the New Year!

There hasn’t been any reader responses to Tanis’s Questions, from last month’s issue but the good news is that we asked Leslie, (our other Better Parents, Better Kids Coach and the Star of The Better Parents, Better Kids E-book Case Study) to answer Tanis’s questions in our “Ask Tanis” Column.

First though - let’s carry-on with Lesson #2 on Communication Modes as part of our 7 part “Understanding Your Child’s Differences” Series.

Lesson #2 – Communication Modes

Welcome to Lesson #2 of our 7 Part Series on “Understanding Your Child's Differences.”

For Lesson #2 let's discuss Communication Modes.

What is a Communication Mode? Simply put we all learn, express love and communicate through different communication modes or combinations of modes, often called Communication Channels, Modalities or Modes for short.

There are Four Main Communication Modes called Visual, Auditory, Digital and Kinesthetic.

As a parent there are many benefits to learning about Communication Modes which includes:

• Finding out what your communication modes are and what your children’s communication modes are. If yours and your children’s communication modes are different - learning how to communicate in each other’s communication modes will help to bridge any listening or communication gaps between you and your children.

• We all feel love through our communication modes so knowing what your children’s communication modes are and how to communicate in your children’s modes will assure that your children will feel loved.

• At the beginning of our series we said that it is important to teach our children about differences as well as about their uniqueness and since we all learn in and/or through our communication modes - you can teach your children about differences and their uniqueness in their learning channel or style.

• As a parent if you tap into your children’s unique learning style through their communication mode you can both teach your children in their communication mode as well as teach your children about their own learning style so when your children are on their own or in school they can choose to use their own communication learning style or techniques that will benefit them the most in regards to learning.

So we will be covering the following:

1. A brief overview of the four communication modes.

2. Examples of how people and your children in particular can learn through their communication modes.

3. How to determine your children’s communication mode or combination of modes.

The following is a very basic definition of the communication modes. You can be primarily one mode or a mixture of up to all four:

Visual people communicate by seeing and doing. They like activities and they like gifts. They notice people, places and things with just the slightest glance. They feel and share love by doing things with or for other people. They take things at face value and do not look deeper into things. They learn by seeing and doing.

To find out if your children are Visual, if you ask Visual children if they had a choice - would they want to go and do something with you, talk with you, understand something that happened to them that day or just cuddle - Visual children would say that they would like to go and do something with you.

To aide in learning for Visual children - visual aides are good such as pictures, writing on a chalkboard or whiteboard. Visual children also learn best by watching interactions or role plays of others and/or participating in role-plays. Reading as well as writing out what they are learning about are also powerful learning tools for Visuals.

Auditory people communicate through talking. They have the natural gift of the gab and are designed to be able to talk for long periods of time. They enjoy talking and listening to other people talk. They feel loved when they are talked to, and like to hear the words “I love you”. They learn by hearing.

To find out if your children are Auditory, if you ask your children if they had a choice - would they want to go and do something with you, talk with you, understand something that happened to them that day or just cuddle - Auditory children would say that they would like to talk with you.

To aide learning for Auditory children - teaching them verbally (Auditory people do not have to take notes or even see what they are being taught). Auditory children also learn well when they are asked to repeat back verbally what they have learned. Having music playing while the Auditory children are being taught, learning through song with the information in the song or actually making up songs with the answers to what they are learning are all excellent learning tools. Auditory children can also use sound associations, for example a certain sound is associated to what they are learning.

Digital people communicate through connection and understanding. They find the deeper meaning in everything they think, see and do. Understanding is very important to them. They feel loved when they share connections with others and are understood. They learn by understanding.

To find out if your children are Digital if you ask your children if they had a choice - would they want to go and do something with you, talk with you, understand something that happened to them that day or just cuddle - Digital children would say that they would like to understand something that happened to them that day.

Digital Children learn best by explaining the “what”, “when”, “how” and “why” of what is being taught as well as going step by step in a process that gets started at the beginning and doesn’t jump around but goes in order. Making connections and explaining so they understand the purpose, concept and origin of the topic they are learning about is also important for a Digital child. Reading is also perfect for Digitals, as well as writing.

Kinesthetic people communicate through their bodies. They move, feel and express through their bodies and love doing physical activities. Kinesthetics love to touch and are very touchy-feely. They feel loved when they are touched. They learn through touch and through experience.

To find out if your children are Kinesthetic, if you ask your children if they had a choice - would they want to go and do something with you, talk with you, understand something that happened to them that day or just cuddle - Kinesthetic children would say that they would like to cuddle.

Kinesthetic Children learn best through acting out role plays, walking through or actually doing what they are learning as well as associating or learning things through touch. (Like the Leap Frog learning toys that are interactive by touching what they are learning about on top of visual and auditory cues.) It is possible to learn and memorize by associating touch or certain textures for a Kinesthetic. This may sound odd or hard to picture, but a Kinesthetic person would understand. Writing something out may also work for a Kinesthetic child.

If you have any questions about Communication Modes or Communication Mode Combinations you can email us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or for more detailed information about Communication Modes including Communication Mode Testing, check out our Better Parents, Better Kids Parenting Home Study Program E-Book at http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/info/

In our January Issue, we will be continuing with our series where we will be discussing “Values” – see you next year!

Ask Tanis

It’s Melody on behalf of Tanis for this month.

As I mentioned, we are looking for readers to answer Tanis’s questions from last month’s issue, which goes as follows:

1) What do you feel you were missing from your childhood (for example, missing love and unconditional acceptance etc) and how do you feel that this has effected you now as an adult and as a parent?

2) What things (emotionally, physically etc) did you get as a child that you feel kids should not do without?

The following answer is from Leslie, our fellow Better Parents, Better Kids Coach and the Star of the “Leslie Case Studies” in our Better Parents, Better Kids Parenting Program E-book (http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/info/ )

She is the Mother of four, two of which are Special Needs Children.

Here are Leslie’s Answers:

Answer 1 - The first thing that comes to me and what I feel is not so much of what I didn’t get it was more to do with “getting a bunch of don’t wants”.

For information about “Don’t Wants” or what we often call “Toxicities” see our article “Will I Spoil My Children If I Fulfill All Their Needs?” under our “Articles” section or click here to read: http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/index.php/articles/63-from-the-authors/101-will-i-spoil-my-children-if-i-fulfill-all-their-needs.html

Answer 2 - I believe every child needs to have support unconditionally and be shown that dreams do actually come true. They can have fun and be who they really are without any judgments - independence is a wonderful thing.

So if you like you can still send in your answers to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and I will post them in our upcoming newsletters under our “Ask Tanis” Column.

Plus, if you have any parenting questions for our “Ask Tanis” Column, feel free to contact Tanis at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Don’t Forget to Visit the Forum!

It’s Melody.

A few last things to mention…

First - don’t forget to check-out our Better Parents Better Kids Parenting Forum at http://www.betterparentsbetterkids.com/forum/

We need YOU to get the Forum Rolling!

As well, as a reminder - don’t forget to check back next month for Lesson #3 of our “Understanding Your Child’s Differences” Series on “Values” and Joey will be back so you can find out “What’s On Joey’s Mind?”

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

Melody Chase

Better Parents Better Kids Program

Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Website: www.betterparentsbetterkids.com

(204) 475-0323