It's been so much fun in my new mindset and paradigm, especially with the kids. I can relate to them in new ways, and feel like a kid myself sometimes.

I used to spend so much time trying to get everything done and everyone taken care of that I didn't give myself any time to have fun, recharge and be free.

I have come to the realization lately that kids are able to have fun and be free in almost everything they do, and the reason that they are able to do that is all because of their mindset. They are almost always in the present moment and are not worried about later, tomorrow etc.

I now know that in order to feel free and relaxed one has to have a certain kind of mindset. I used to play baseball with the kids, for example, but as I was playing I was also constantly thinking. Thinking about what was going to come next or what still needed to be done in the house or what to have for supper. I honestly believed that in order to be a good mom, I needed to keep everything and everyone taken care of. I also believed that I needed to do all of these things as well as playing with the kids, taking them out, feeding them properly, etc., etc.

I've realized now that the big problem was the expectation I always had of myself. If I managed to keep everything going as I thought it should go, then I was somewhat satified, but most of the time I couldn't keep up, and that is when the stress and anxiety really kicked in.

I even remember my older son giving me other options. I remember one time in particular... we "had" to leave the park one day because it was time to make supper. It was a beautiful day and we were having a great time. My son, who was only four at the time said, "Why don't we just have toast for supper, then we will have more time at the park?" I can't remember what my response was, but I know we didn't have toast for supper. Looking back now, I realize how smart my son was and, of course, still is. He was able to do naturally what took me a long time to be able to do. He knew what he wanted and was able to think of a plan in order to get it, the only thing stopping him was my deluded way of thinking at the time.

One day, when he is older and is able to fully understand mindset and paradigm shifts, I will explain to him what I went through, and I'm sure he will be just as happy as I am that I met Rob who helped me to understand what was going on and how to change it and, of course, how to be a lot more fun!

The big point I want to make is how my son new naturally how to get what he wanted. He understood about priorities, supper, for example. He knew he wanted to stay at the park, but he also knew we couldn't skip supper, so he very easily came up with a solution that would allow him to stay at the park longer and still get fed. Instead of praising him for this, I taught him instead my own skewed way of thinking.

Back then I thought my way was the only way, the right way, etc., etc. When I look back on it now, I see that I was nuts!

I was putting making supper a priority, and not allowing anyone else's opinion. Looking at it from my son's point of view, what's more important? Watching mom make supper for 45 minutes to an hour and eating a balanced meal, or staying at the park, having fun and then eating toast? Obviously the second one.

I am very happy that I have learned so much and that my kids are still young enough that I haven't done too much damage as far as their authenticity is concerned. Before it was all about them conforming to my opinions and beliefs. Even now I find my seven-year-old saying things that I would have said before, like "should" and "have to," although these comments are getting fewer and farther between.

Now instead of teaching them to conform to whatever or whoever, I am teaching them to be authentic. I am teaching them to know who they are, what they want and how to give themselves what they need. The result is amazing. Very rarely do we have any power struggles around here and you won't see me carrying a crying kid out of the park ever again!

My mind is almost always in the present moment and my priorities have changed a little. I still believe it is important to eat balanced meals but I am not so rigid anymore. I take my kids opinion into consideration and we think of options together now so everyone gets what they need. I have let go a lot of my old ways, I no longer care if the house is clean, especially if there is something fun going on. Don't get me wrong, I am not living in a pigpen where nothing gets done and we eat toast all the time. I have just learned to delegate more, and once I have decided to do something, I focus on that rather than what isn't getting done in that moment.

Having fun and being free isn't just for kids. I am still responsible, reliable and able to run my household, as well as having fun and being free. I hope having said all of this, I am able to help someone else realize how important it is to have fun, be free and live a happy relaxed life. I would love to see all kids live authentically and in a paradigm where they can have whatever they want.

Tanis Nicole Wright